


Dream a Little Dream

by ToriCeratops



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Aphasia, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Deaf Character, Domestic Fluff, Families of Choice, Harry Hart Lives, Kid Fic, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Canon, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-03-31 09:31:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3972928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToriCeratops/pseuds/ToriCeratops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy's life couldn't be more perfect.  He's at the top of his game, running back to back missions and having a blast every step of the way.   But sometimes the universe throws you a curveball, and forces you to re-evaluate yourself and your life.</p>
<p>Whether you want to or not.</p>
<p>Eggsy is given the shock of his life, and has to face the reality that everything must change. He is terrified that he will be forced to give up who he has become, and what has been so important to him for the last three years. But Harry, who suddenly seems to always be at his side, slowly and subtly reminds him once more that to grow up and be a better person doesn't mean you have to stop being yourself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. August

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by the always brilliant [stainedglasscurtains](http://stainedglasscurtains.tumblr.com)
> 
> Also, I recognize that Eggsy did not call his baby sister 'Daisy' but it is the most recognizable name in the fandom and I rather like it so that's what we went with.

**August**

* * *

 

“Galahad.  Your time is up.”

A bullet sings through the air just next to Eggsy’s head and explodes bits of the wall he’s facing.  He’s sweaty, out of breath, in more pain than he’d like to admit and, apparently, out of time.

He also has a huge fucking grin on his face and couldn’t be more excited.

“Maybe I need to make some more then, yeah?”  With his heart racing he flips the small gold lighter in his hand then snaps it open.  Without paying much attention to where it’s going, Eggsy lobs it far over his shoulder.

It won’t stop them – not by a long shot – but it will sure as hell slow them down.

“And now you’re out of grenades.”  Harry deadpans in his ear two seconds before the explosion rocks the building.

Eggsy makes sure his package is secure under his arm and bolts while his distraction is still going off.  “Jesus, Fisher.  You’re almost as bad as Merlin.”  Eggsy tells Harry while he manages to contain his joyful laughter, but only just.

“I am _still_ on the line.”

“He knows.”

While Eggsy laughs something zips past him, leaving his arm to suddenly burst with intense pain.  He curses and looks down where the bullet left a long gash as it had grazed him, wishing not for the first time he hadn’t lost his jacket while in hand to hand with some goon twice his size a while back.  But it had been the only way out of the man’s grapple.

Fuck.  Now he’s really out of time.

Problem is, you don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.  Nor, apparently, should you bring merely a handful of explosives and three guns to the weapons cache of an international arms dealer – no matter how small their operations are supposed to be.  Of course, Eggsy has brought nothing but an umbrella to worse situations, so for the moment he’s choosing to be optimistic about the whole damn thing.

Which is working out for him for the most part.

“Galahad.  They are catching up.”  Eggsy rolls his eyes.  He’s perfectly aware of that thank you very much Harry Hart.  “In fifty feet take a left and then – right.” There’s a pause in Harry’s speech that Eggsy fills in with ‘immediate’.  It’s one of the crucial words he can’t always recall and takes too long to work around.  But they’ve been working together long enough Eggsy doesn’t need it.

“Left, right, then what?”  He asks, rounding the corner as told.  “Stop?  Keep going?  Break dance?”

“Door.  Then stop.”

“Wait a minute.”  Eggsy beings singing as soon as he grabs the handle on the door in question.  “Fill my cup put some liquor in it.”

He hears Harry’s laugh and Merlin groan.  “Galahad, focus.”

“Shouldn’t you be workin’ on that computer system?”  Eggsy finds himself in what looks like a waiting room, complete with a few chairs, some magazines on a low set table and coffee off to the side that smells as if it has been just brewed.  It also, more importantly, has another door on the opposite wall with noises coming from behind it.

“Chastising you is easier than breathing at this point.  You can’t even call it multitasking.”  Merlin’s voice is drowned out by the sudden focus he has on the door.  He’s here to avoid being trampled by a stampede of oversized and heavily armed thugs.  It would suck to be taken out by just one or two.  Even if it is likely they are also armed to the teeth.

Perks of working for an arms dealer, apparently.

As Merlin and Harry seem to catch on to what Eggsy is doing, everything goes silent.  He walks as quietly as he can toward the door, checking his remaining ammunition before he makes it to the threshold.  Four rounds left.

Fuck.

Through the crack in the door he can just make out an office, catching glimpses of people tossing files into a fire they’ve set in a large metal bin at the center of the room.  The smoke is billowing towards the ceiling and being carried out through high, broken glass at the top of the window.  He can’t make out exactly how many men are in there as he can only see three distinct sets of hands tossing files, but figures there are probably more.  They’re moving with frantic speed.  Eggsy realizes that if these files are incriminating enough to be destroyed when being raided – even if it is just by one adrenaline junkie with an over loaded ego – then they’re important enough to take.

Just as he hears Harry begin to make a sound of protest Eggsy throws the door open with his gun drawn.

“Gentlemen. You know that’s a fire hazard, yes?”  Before anyone can react Eggsy rapid fires his last four shots and all but one of them fall to heaps on the ground.

And the one left standing looks fucking pissed.  He’s got a bald head and no neck and is the most cliché looking goon Eggsy has ever seen.

“I won’t tell if you won’t.”  Eggsy shrugs with a wink.

Both of them spring to action.  The metal bin that is on fucking fire gets kicked towards Eggsy and he jumps, flipping over it to land a solid kick to the man’s chest.  He goes backwards while flaming paper and embers fly everywhere, half burned folders flipping about, catching furniture on fire.  The air is immediately full of ember and ash, burning his lungs even as Eggsy rolls back to his feet.  He sets his box in the corner just before dodging a heavy boot that was going straight for his shin.

On his way up he lands the heel of his palm to the guy’s chin, but it barely fazes him.  Two more swings and Eggsy takes a punch to the gut that nearly knocks the wind out of him. He just barely manages to miss the next blow.

Right.  New tactic.

This arse is thicker than a brick house and at least twice as strong as Eggsy could ever hope to be.  So instead of out punching him he’s got to out maneuver.  Be faster.

Maybe play a little dirty.

Flames are beginning to catch all around them, making it hard to breathe.  Whatever he’s going to do he’s got to do it now.  Eggsy takes a step sideways and kicks his foot through a pile of embers, sending them high into the air in the direction of the other guy’s face.  The worst sound he gets though is a grunt of mild frustration even as his eyebrows catch on _fucking fire_.

“Fucking hell, man!”  Eggsy shakes off his own awe at the sight and moves in, jabbing precision shots at pressure points and taking advantage of what little of a distraction that actually caused.  Apparently baldy is some kind of cyborg from the future or some shite – and GOD Eggsy wishes he shot this guy first (though he’s not convinced it wouldn’t have bounced).  He shrugs off every single one of them.  He snatches both of Eggsy’s hands with lightning speed and Eggsy has to use every ounce of adrenaline coursing through his veins to keep from wincing as his wrists are slowly twisted.  He’s pushing his left foot back against the ground, bracing to kick his knee cap when Eggsy is knocked to the ground by the hardest head butt he’s ever received in his life.

The small flickering flames he lands in are snuffed out by the impact of his body and his glasses go flying.  Pain shoots through his spine and his head already throbbing.  Eggsy groans, tries to catch his breath and brace himself for another assault.

But it doesn’t come.

Instead, baldy turns to a side table and slams a briefcase closed, bolting for the door.

Eggsy lets out a long string of expletives and forces himself to get up.  The first thing he does is make sure he’s no longer on fire.  (So much for this shirt.)  Then grabs his box from where he’d stashed it, a gun from one of the bodies on the floor, and almost as an afterthought, his glasses on the way out of the door.

He is in pursuit by the time he gets his glasses back on.

“Galahad!  Report!”  Harry’s voice is strained, almost deafening.

“Christ, Fisher.  I’m fine!  I’m in pursuit.”

“Negative.”  Merlin breaks in, sounding cross as always.  “You have completed your objective.  Return to the safe house and wait for extraction.”

Eggsy doesn’t answer, just follows the path down the hall at full speed.  He knows there’s something important in that brief case, something the organization can’t afford anyone else to get their hands on.

They have an active satellite feed watching the exterior areas of the abandoned warehouse.  He also has Harry watching his back.

Which is why Eggsy isn’t surprised in the slightest when the next thing he hears is, “He’s on a motorbike.  There are few more of them on the east side.  If you get there now I can get you caught up before he leaves our range.”  Before Harry’s even done speaking he can already hear Merlin mumbling in the background, something about ‘Galahad clones’ and not encouraging him.

Eggsy makes it to the bikes and smirks, finding one with a seat compartment to stash his package in.  He’s laughing by the time he convinces the engine to come to life.

“I’m doing no such thing.  I am simply keeping him alive while he makes split second field decisions we – that we can’t do this far way.”

Eggsy’s laughter dies down, fully aware he wasn’t meant to hear that.  Harry’s voice contains a mixture of worry and pride and it all makes him feel a little warm inside. Well, warmer.  He was, after all, recently on fire and is currently standing under the Ugandan sun in August.  He’s not ashamed to admit he kind of lives off the man’s approval.

Well, not ashamed to admit to himself anyway.

“Fisher.”

“Yes?”  Harry responds completely calm, as if he hadn’t just said anything else.

“Be my eyes.  Catch me a big one.”

With Harry’s careful directions in his ear Eggsy navigates the maze of long abandoned buildings to catch up with his quarry.  The dry air whips past him as he keeps his speed up as fast as possible around some of the painfully tight turns he has to make.  His knees scrape the ground, tearing at his trousers more than once and he thinks he’ll be damn lucky if he makes it out of this ordeal with his underwear in one piece.

“Round this corner then full out.  He’ll be out of my range in moments.”  Harry warns him.

Eggsy takes the turn at full speed and the moment he straightens out and sees his target he pulls his stolen gun.  Without hesitating he begins to fire.  Bullets graze the man’s shoulder but he keeps going.

Which is unfortunate.  Because just outside of the abandoned warehouse district is a decidedly NOT abandoned street market.

Even still, a surge of childlike glee takes over him as they set off.  All that’s missing is some badass action music.  For several blocks he keeps pace, dodging around pedestrians and street carts, barely skimming around delivery vehicles in his way.

“Galahad.”  Merlin sighs.  “Is the music necessary?”

He hadn’t realized he’d started humming the Mission Impossible theme but the moment Merlin points it out Eggsy smirks.

“ _Absolutely_.”  And does it even louder.

Something darts out in front of him and Eggsy has to take a sharp left to avoid collision, losing sight of his target with a spitting curse.  It takes him several blocks to find a way back on course but the moment he does he realizes he’s one lucky bastard.

“Hello, ugly.”  He guns the engine when he sees the other man less than a hundred feet in front of him, still looking over his shoulder and weaving carelessly around the obstacles in his way.  Eggsy easily keeps pace this time, hopping the curb to run along a long stretch of sidewalk.

“Terribly sorry to interrupt.”  Harry says in a tone that makes it clear he’s not sorry in the slightest – more amused than anything else.  “But there’s an Eagle terrorizing the shop.”

The sidewalk Eggsy is on stays flat while the street curves down suddenly so he revs the engine and goes flying the first chance he gets, trying not to worry about what would compel his mum to come to the shop.  She avoids the place like the plague.  “Is flower alright?”  They’ve reached an area that is much less crowded and with his heart pounding in his ears, Eggsy takes another shot.

It hits his target but the bastard doesn’t even wobble.

Fucking hell.

“Nothing about flower.  Just insistent you return as soon as possible.  That something has ‘come up’ that you seem to be solely responsible for.” There’s just the tiniest bit of accusation in his amused tone and Eggsy starts racking his brain for what he could have done now.  Ever since he got her and Daisy set up in their own place he hasn’t seen her nearly as much as he used to.  They each have their own lives and it honestly starts to bother him that he has no clue where to even begin thinking what could be wrong.  Eggsy curses and refocuses, following his target around a corner and onto a path that leads toward a wide and open bridge.  Since the man’s shrugging off bullets, time to put on somewhere else.

“Tell Eagle I’ll be back before dinner.”

The man in front of him aims for a small gap at the beginning of the bridge on the right that drops down to the concrete storm drain below.  Eggsy means to follow the same path but manages to catch a glimpse of him curving around and heading in the opposite direction.  At the last second Eggsy turns the handles sharp left, the tires smoking underneath him and revs again so a moment later he’s flying off the other side of the bridge, feeling smug and finally in complete control.  He fires rapidly on his way down, but the first shot does the trick and the back tire explodes.  Both rider and bike go spiraling out of control and the moment Eggsy lands and recovers from his own impact he heads straight for baldy, leaning dangerously low to snatch the briefcase away.

“I’ll take that!”  As he heads off Eggsy laughs brightly and looks back over his shoulder.  “Thanks, bruv!”

The thrill of victory has his pulse racing and a wide smile on his face.  Eggsy is exhilarated, barely containing a shout of joy while he takes the quickest route out of the city proper and towards his safe house.

Just as he hits the edge of town a bright orange glow suddenly covers the sky.

“Galahad.”  Harry says quietly.  “What is that?”

Eggsy slows to a halt, turning to look behind him knowing full well what he’s about to see and that Harry is looking at it on his satellite feed as well.

He stares up in awe at the massive fire ball peaking and slowly dying above the warehouse district, and then shrugs.

“Oops.”

 

 

 

Eggsy hisses when he tugs the suture through his skin a little too fast.  It’s hardly the worst wound he’s ever gotten on a job but, well, it fucking stings.

“If you hadn’t been so bloody reckless you wouldn’t have to deal with that, you know.”  Arthur’s high, somewhat snooty voice fills the small cabin of his plane just as the green, fuzzy image of her and Harry comes to life in the chairs opposite from where he’s patching himself up.  She’s a fierce looking woman with shoulder length white hair.  When she smiles she looks deceptively like a kind grandmother.  But when she doesn’t – which is most of the time – she’s terrifying.  She also never misses an opportunity to call out Eggsy on being a bit young and stupid.  Nor when he’s disobeyed direct orders.  Arthur gets a lot of those opportunities, actually.

Eggsy loves her.

“Yeah well.  I got the damn prototype and, bonus, intel agencies across the world would piss themselves over.  So I’m calling this scratch a victory tattoo.”  He winks over at Harry who’s not even bothering to hide his small smile and then cuts the end of his suture off, sitting the needle down in his little metal kit.

Arthur runs a perfectly manicured fingertip across one of her eyebrows with a frustrated sigh.  “Except we did not send you there for intel on anything.  We were simply after the ignition prototype that had been stolen from Tate industries.  It’s a small, insignificant organization that got lucky.  Your convenient fire likely cleaned them off the map.”

“We haven’t even heard what he found, Arthur.”  Harry intercedes.  “Let him…” he pauses and makes it sound so natural, barely more than a breath but Eggsy’s fairly sure he’d lost the following word.  “Let him tell us what’s in the files.”

She cuts her skeptical glance back and forth between the two men before finally settling on Eggsy again.  “I will hear what you have, but if you could at the very least put a shirt on first?”

Eggsy looks down at his bare chest and frowns.  He’s not very obviously beat up on the front but there are a few pretty shite burns on his back he has yet to get properly taken care of and putting on clothes over them is not currently an option.

“Sorry ma’am.  Fresh out.”  He gives her a wide smile and Arthur shakes her head and settles back in her chair, gesturing for him to go on.

“We were wrong.”  He starts, taking the smile off his face and suddenly quite serious.  That alone seems to have both Harry and Arthur paying closer attention.  “This wasn’t some insignificant operation.”  Pain shoots through his back when he moves forward to rifle through the stack of folders on the small table in front of him and he tries not to wince.  “It was small in size, yeah.  But what I just – quite accidentally, mind – blew up was just a damned out post.”

Harry waits patiently while Arthur sits forward.  “How on earth could you know that?  There’s been nothing to indicate they were more than just a fledgling organization.”

“May’a been at one point. But someone bought ‘em out and apparently decided they were small and hidden away enough to hide some important shit.”

“Such as?”

Eggsy smirks, grabbing file after file.  “Shipping manifests.  Account records.  Inventory.”  He pushes a few more out of the way.  “More importantly, and the reason the arse bolted,” A single file that made the whole escapade worth it sits at the bottom of the stack.  Eggsy pulls a piece of paper from it and holds it up in triumph.  “A stack of coded letters with a very distinctive seal on the bottom.”  He watches both of them look away as if to another display.  Arthur reacts first, sitting back in her seat tapping a finger against her lips, obviously lost in thought.

Harry, curses.

“Shit.”

“Thought you might like that bit, Fisher.”  He runs his thumb over the ridges of the seal, a circle encasing a single tusk with a snake coiled around its length.

All three of them are silent for a moment while Harry types on something Eggsy can’t see and apparently sends it to Arthur’s terminal if her shift in attention is anything to go by.

“Stheno.”  Harry says eventually, the name sounding like another curse on his lips.  “A black market organization that has managed to remain the most elusive arms dealer in the… whole world.”  Harry shifts in his chair, changing the angle of his body and not even bothering to look at the screen. He knows it by heart, Eggsy is sure.   When Eggsy had taken the role of Galahad he’d been given every file with the name on it, and this was one of them.  “They’ve been around for… since before even I was born.  Let alone Galahad.  There is evidence of Stheno from world war one, but nothing…”

Eggsy gives Harry a moment before meeting his gaze and getting a silent nod, then finishes for him.  “Nothing concrete until world war two.  Even then it was just blips on the radar, here and there.  An odd note, marks left on destroyed buildings. Still, almost everyone thought them a myth.  That is until around 2000 when the former Galahad,” Eggsy winks at Harry, “single handedly took out a rogue cell of MI6 who had been planning on overtaking a large portion of London.”

“They got their extra weapons – non MI6 issued - from Stheno and hadn’t covered their tracks.”

“I’m only here for DeBeers.”  Eggsy mutters though it’s obvious from the way Harry bites back a smile it wasn’t quiet enough.  So what if he was intimately familiar with what headline went with every single escapade Harry had been on.  Eggsy is Galahad now and a lot of those things still have his name on them.

“And you didn’t track them down then?”  Arthur asks, ignoring Eggsy’s distraction.

“We tried.  For years.  Dead end every time.”  Harry says.

“And even once computers were introduced to the equation, as far as we know, they’ve never adopted them into the system.”  Eggsy adds.  “Nothing to hack.”

Harry nods.  “Which is why Merlin came up empty today.”

“And now we just happened to stumble upon them entirely by accident?”  Arthur is still skeptical, but that’s her job.

“No.  We stumbled on them because Galahad followed his… his gut.”  Harry points out with a twitch of a grin on his lips.

Eggsy ducks his head to hide his own smile.

“Against orders.”  She reminds them both though there’s no heat behind it.  “Excellent work, Galahad.  I expect a full report by Monday morning.”

“Yes ma’am.”  He nods just as she signs off and her image fades from view.  Eggsy puts all of the paperwork back in their respective folders and into his Kingsman briefcase – he’d ditched the other one as fast as possible after checking for secret compartments.  Couldn’t be too careful when it came to the possibility of tracking devices.

“How are your injuries?”

Eggsy gets the briefcase tucked away by moving very slowly before he answers Harry’s concerned question.  They fucking hurt, he’s sore as hell, and he’s going to have to be in medical when he makes it back long enough to piss his mum off even more than she apparently already is.  “Eh.  Not too bad.  Had worse.”

Harry folds his hands in his lap and leans back, shaking his head.  “That leaves a rather large range of pain you could be in.  You have shattered bone on the job before.”

Yeah and that was quite possibly the worst pain of his life.  In comparison this is a paper cut.

“If shattered bone is my eleven then this barely makes it past four.”

“Let me see?”

“No.”  Eggsy sits up straighter in defiance and immediately regrets it, the stabbing pain shooting through his body from moving burned skin makes it impossible to hide on his face.

Harry’s features and voice go soft.  “Please.”

For a while Eggsy stares at the green image of Harry and considers telling him to bugger off.  But he’s concerned, and that actually means a lot to Eggsy.  Besides, the cameras on the seat Eggsy’s in are 360 for a proper life like projection.  Harry could just flip a switch and see without even asking.  But he’s seeking permission.

So Eggsy nods. “Can you use your terminal, though?  Movin’s a bit shite on the nerves at the mo’.”

Pleased, Harry nods.  He’s quiet for a long time, eyes flicking about across an unseen screen.  Eggsy used to be so uncomfortable in moments like these, where a conversation went silent with someone he could see but who wasn’t actually in the room with him.  But it happens so damned much he’d forced himself to get over it fast.

It’s still easiest with Harry.

“I’m going to have an emergency medical team meet you in the hangar.”

“It aint that bad!”  Eggsy protests.

“No.  But they can patch you up fast enough to keep you on time for dinner.”

That Harry thinks about things like that always makes Eggsy so incredibly appreciative.  He gives him a thankful smile and nods.  “Who are you to be worried about people bein’ punctual?”  Eggsy teases.

“My concern is not for your… for you being on time.”  Harry says with a flat stare.  “But rather keeping your promises.”  There’s a teasing tone in his words as well which makes Eggsy laugh. He barely keeps himself from slouching down, remembering at the last second that would be a very bad, very painful, idea.

“Are you ever going to stop reminding me how to be a proper gentleman?”

Harry’s smile is bright, relaxed.  “Not a chance.”

Which somehow makes Eggsy feel quite a bit better.

 

 

 

Just as Harry had said, there’s a medical team waiting in the hangar the moment Eggsy’s plane lands.  He’d taken a shower on the flight back and the medics seem satisfied his wounds are clean enough, and immediately begin applying various chemicals to Eggsy’s back right there in the cabin.  The first layer is an antiseptic that stings like a mother fucker.  After that they spray on something that feels like ice, dulling the sting from before and eventually easing all of the pain that had been blossoming across his back.  The heavy breath he takes once the pain is dulled makes him realize just how bad it had been.  It’s a bit strange, not actually being able to feel anything that touches his back, but he’ll take it over the alternative for now.

The final layer is a biomedical adhesive that is essentially a new layer of skin.  It lets his burns breathe and heal while keeping them protected from elements and bacteria.  He requests a small patch of it for the gash on his arm and once that’s patched up heads to his office.

Even with his injuries, Eggsy is on cloud-fucking-nine.  He completed his mission, destroyed a weapons cache that had been supplying dangerous militants, and got a huge lead on a case Kingsman has been tracking since its inception.

All in all, damned good day.

Whistling, he wanders the hall shirtless until he makes it to his office where he scans the coded messages into a small, secure, local server then locks everything else up in his safe.  As quick as he can he puts on a fresh set of casual clothing and snatches his personal mobile before bolting for home.

He tries to phone his mum but she doesn’t answer and the only response to his texts is a single, _hurry up.  You’ll understand when you get here._

By the time the cab pulls up to his house, Eggsy is nervous as fuck, legs bouncing and gnawing at his bottom lip.  Dozens of things pass through his head, what he’s done, who he’s pissed off.  Maybe it’s not even him, maybe his mum is having problems.  Issues with the house he bought her?  But then again he wouldn’t have been at fault for that, nor would she have come to the shop.  So, really, Eggsy has no idea and is just grasping at straws.

But what – who – he sees sitting on his front steps is quite possibly the furthest thing from anything he had come up with.

It’s been over a year since Jamal’s wedding where dozens of his childhood friends had come back together for the party of the fucking century.  Lots of dancing, music, food and copious amounts of alcohol had fueled the evening’s activities.  An evening that had ended with him bringing a beautiful young woman he hadn’t seen since secondary school back to his place for the night (and a seriously large portion of the following day.)

A woman who is currently sitting at his front door.

Crying.

“Amrita?”  Eggsy gets out of the cab before it even comes to a full stop, bolting up the steps.  By the time he’s at her side she’s standing and wiping the tears from her face.  Her long, perfectly straight black hair is pulled back tight but several strands have fallen loose all over and her deep brown eyes are puffy as if she’s been crying for days.

“Eggsy!”  She throws her arms around his shoulders for a quick and tight hug and he just barely manages to hold back on a whine from the pain of direct pressure that puts on his burns.  “Thank god.  I thought you would never get here.”  Her relief vanishes the moment she pulls away, replaced with anger.  “Where the hell have you been?!”

He feels like he’s been slapped but before he can stammer out an answer she keeps going.  “Your mum and I have been trying to reach you all week! She said you were on holiday but would do whatever she could to get you back.”

“Yeah, and here I am, two days early.”  Which is a lie.  He’s a good week early because he was supposed to ship out almost immediately once he returned from Uganda.

“Not early enough!”  She’s wringing her hands and keeps looking back at the house.  Eggsy realizes that fear is fueling her anger.  “I’m, I’m so sorry, Eggsy.  I should have said something before and I got here early enough to give you time but you weren’t here.  God, please don’t hate me.  Fuck, you’re going to be so pissed.  You should have come home sooner.”  She keeps looking back and forth, grasping at her hair and pulling more of it out of the ponytail to fall in her face.

For a second Eggsy stares at her, dumbfounded.  Admittedly it’s been almost a decade since he properly knew her (a night together doesn’t count and he knows it) but he had NEVER known her to be so overly emotional about anything.  And he’d been in love with her pretty much the entire first fifteen years of his life.  To the point he’d written shite love poems to ‘the beautiful Amrita with the dark, olive skin and a smile that made men and women alike melt’.  She’d laughed at every one of them and then continued to be his best mate.

“Amri.”  Eggsy grasps her by the shoulders.  “Calm down for five seconds and tell me what the _fuck_ you are on about.”

The look that she gives him then is full of guilt like nothing Eggsy has ever seen.  Something nervous twists in his gut while he waits for an answer.

Eventually she sighs and will no longer meet his gaze.  “Maybe… maybe we should go inside.”

That sounds like an excellent idea.  Without saying anything in response, he gestures for her to lead the way which she does with obvious reluctance.

Inside everything is quiet, the only thing out of the ordinary that J.B. hasn’t already bound up to greet him the moment the door opened.  He starts to call out for him but Amrita shushes him immediately, which just makes Eggsy even more confused.  And at that point that’s a fucking feat because he had thought it couldn’t get any worse.

God is he so wrong.

They make their way to through the foyer and into his sitting room.

Eggsy goes dead still in the archway.

His mum is in there, lounging on the couch and reading something on her phone which is perfectly normal.

But what stops him, what steals the breath from his chest and makes his head swim is the small play pen just in front of her where an infant with wispy black hair is fast asleep.  Eggsy is not an idiot.  Not by a long shot.  He can add, put two and two together.  He blinks several times and forces himself to take a deep breath.  He’s not an idiot, but still… maybe…

“H..” he closes his eyes and swallows.  “How old?”

When Amrita looks back at him with a tiny, weary smile, Eggsy’s heart stops.

“Six months.”

Yeah.

No.

“I need air.”

Everything feels strangely suspended as he turns and escapes, barely able to catch his breath, skin tingling from everything swimming in his mind.  He immediately drops to the steps outside, head tucked between his knees, hands clasped behind his neck.  Eggsy’s been through a lot of shit in his life but he’s not convinced he’s ever been so overwhelmed, so conflicted, or his chest so damned tight.  He’s pissed off, scared, thrilled, nervous, excited, fucking terrified.  His heart feels like it’s going to explode and suddenly his Kingsman training for handling panic kicks in but is nowhere near enough.

By the time he hears the door open and close behind him Eggsy is slowly counting the length of each breath.  He’s aware that Amrita has sat beside him but he’s not really ready to talk to her yet, even though he doesn’t actually have much of a choice.

Without looking at her, Eggsy forces himself to say something.

“What.  The.  Fuck, Amri?  How – “  No.  That’s a stupid question he fucking knows how.  “Why?  Why the fuck haven’t you said anything?  And yeah, actually, how?  Because we used a condom every single time.”

She holds her hands out in a shrug.  “And I’ve been on birth control since I was sixteen.”  Her words are soft.  “But apparently the world was conspiring against us.”

No shit.

They had exchanged numbers but both of them had made it fairly clear that after that night they wouldn’t be seeing each other again.  Eggsy was still just three months out from saving the fucking world, busy helping to rebuild Kingsman (not that he could tell her any of that) and Amrita had just gotten an amazing start to a rather promising career in journalism.  They were young and had places to go and while the night was fun, neither had built any expectations on it.

Eggsy never called her.

And Amrita had never once called him.

“That doesn’t explain why the fuck you never told me!”  Eggsy pushes himself off the steps and paces on the sidewalk.  “He… she?  I don’t even know! _Fucking hell_.”  He swipes his hands down his face and groans, feeling worse every minute.  His stomach is churning and the nausea is getting hard to hold back.

Eggsy looks back at her then but Amrita won’t look him in the eyes.  She’s wring her hands again and there’s a tension in her voice that should tell Eggsy so much but at the moment he doesn’t much care.  “Because your ability to stick your dick in someone doesn’t make you a father.”

For a moment Eggsy stares at her, mouth agape with a sudden roaring in his ears.  And then he loses it.  “You don’t even know me!  We haven’t known each other since we was fifteen.  You have no idea!  Who I am, the man I’ve become!  You don’t even…”

She looks up suddenly and something in her eyes cuts him off abruptly.  “You remember my da?”  Her words are soft and her tension over the last few minutes suddenly makes perfect sense as memories come rushing back.  Everyone they knew adored her father, but Eggsy knew the truth.  He knew that her dad had been worse than Dean had ever dreamed of being, just hid it a hell of a lot better.  On top of that, he’d made sure Amrita never forgot that she was a mistake, the reason they never did well, a broken condom that never should have happened.

“Yeah.”  Eggsy deflates, sitting back down on the steps.  “I remember the prick.”

“I couldn’t take that chance, Eggsy.”  There are tears welling up in her eyes again.  “Because you’re right.  I don’t know you.  I had no idea who you’d become and I understand if you hate me for everything but – but after mum died last month I realized I couldn’t keep judging everyone based on my own past.  Because when she was gone, I had no one left.  Because I never let anyone in.  But more than that, that there’s no way the boy who stood up to my da, who rescued kittens from the other boys when they were being horrible, who got sent home for breaking up more fights that he ever started… no way he could have turned out anything but good.”

There are tears in Eggsy’s eyes that he’s trying desperately to not let fall.  He can’t say anything, can’t chance opening up his mouth and letting all the twisted emotions come spilling out in that moment.

“You deserve a chance, and right now I just wish I had realized that sooner.”

He clears his throat, “Why’s that?”  Eggsy’s voice is cracked and shattered.  And he has a sinking suspicion he knows what’s coming next.  Or at least, he has a really good idea of the gist of what she is about to say.  The worst part is, he still has no clue how he’s going to react and his hands are starting to shake uncontrollably.

The guilt comes back in full force.  “I – I’ve been offered a long term correspondent position, embedded with a unit that will be deployed tomorrow morning.  And this is an opportunity you get _once_.  You turn it down and the offer never comes back again.”

Eggsy barely remembers how to breathe.  “You can’t just do this.”

“I’ve been training to go into a war zone since I was 19 and realized that’s what I wanted to do, that those were the stories I needed to share with the world.  And now, with everything that’s going on in the world… no way I pass that up.  If I do, I’m afraid I would resent him for the rest of my life.”

Him.

Eggsy has a son.

_Jesus Christ._

While Eggsy tries very hard not to start hyperventilating, she adds, “I would have had my mum take him but…”  She trails off and they both fall silent.

There’s no way he can take care of a baby.  Not on his own.  Not with his job.  Hell, he’s currently one of the most active agents in the organization, even if he wasn’t alone it would still be a terrible fucking idea.  “It’s just, there’s too much.”

“Eggsy.  You’re a tailor.”  She’s still trying to be kind, even while pointing out what she sees as the obvious.  “You’ve managed to crawl your way out of the dump we lived in as kids and are doin’ better than any of us could dream of.  Hire a nanny for a few months and when I get back I’ll take him home and it’ll be like he was never here if you want.  He’s young enough he won’t remember and then you can go back to seducing desperate girls back here every weekend.”

At that he lets out a short, sarcastic burst of a laugh.  Amrita had been the only person he had ever brought here.  The only reason he never went stir crazy was the occasional NLP mission.  “You weren’t exactly desperate.”

She doesn’t say anything in response and Eggsy gets lost back in his own thoughts.  This is never going to work.  He’s got absolutely no idea how to even begin to make it work.  He should say no.  He could say no.  It’s a simple, single syllable.  He’s says it a lot actually.  Quite good at it.

“What’s his name?”  He says instead, trying to pretend his voice isn’t shaky as hell.

“Daniel.”  She answers with a melancholy smile.  “Daniel Singh.”  All he can manage is a nod in response.  “Michelle already has all of his paperwork.  Birth records – with your name on them.  Some medical stuff, vaccinations.  My uh – my will.”

Eggsy looks at her, a silent question in his gaze.  “War zone, remember?”

They’re both quiet for a long time, sitting side by side, both of them on the verge of one decision that is going to change both of their lives forever.

“You should meet him.”  She offers quietly.

A minute later with his heart threatening to explode in his chest, Eggsy finally pushes open his front door.  It’s still hard to breathe and J.B. is still nowhere to be seen.  But he forces himself forward, clenches his fists at his side to calm the tremor in his hands, and swallows all of his fears.

Michelle is leaning over the playpen when he comes in, Amrita gently guiding him forward.

His mum comes over to him and gives Eggsy a gentle hug, and a kiss on his cheek.  “He’s just wakin’ up.”  She says in a whisper before standing at his other side.

And he can tell that, hear the small squeaks and coos, see the way he’s starting to shift around and grasp for things.  He’d helped enough with Daisy that muscle memory at the very least kicks in.  More carefully than he handles the most sensitive explosives he slips his hands under the tiny body and lifts him up, pulling him to his chest.  Daniel has Amrita’s deep skin tone, and her pitch black hair.  But when he opens his eyes and blinks up at Eggsy, Eggsy’s heart fucking stops.

They are bright, brilliant green.

He takes a moment to take a shaky breath, to bite his lip and blink back more tears.  “Hey there, Daniel.”  Eggsy’s smile grows wide and uncontrollable.  “I’m Eggsy.”  Daniel blinks again and coos, chubby hand reaching out to grasp Eggsy’s nose and his heart melts.

There’s no way he’s not gonna screw this up six ways from Sunday.  He’s not ready.  Not prepared and absolutely terrified.

“I’m your dad.”  He tries out loud for the first time.  It feels so strange and he’s pulling himself in two directions, a fissure growing wider every second because part of him wants to bolt, to run.

But a stronger part, the one he always makes himself listen to, is already gone on this kid.

His kid.

Daniel blinks again, then screws up his face….

And starts to wail.

_Couldn’t have said it any better myself_.  Eggsy thinks.

 

 


	2. September

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry's aphasia is extremely mild and what is referred to as Anomic Aphasia. He understands others and, in general, communicates with correct grammar and sentence structure but has difficulty recalling some words. He can work around it usually, but not every time.

**September**

“ _Hello my little prince!  Mummy is going to miss you so much.  Eggsy, I can’t possibly tell you how much this means to me.  I’ll be able to send these videos out every few weeks.  They have to be screened and I can’t even tell you what date it is when I’m making them, but if you can play them for Daniel, it would mean the world to me….”_

* * *

 

 

Daniel hates him.

J.B. hates Daniel.

And Eggsy is fucking lost.

Helping to take care of his baby sister on occasion was nothing compared to full time parenting.  Logically, he’d known that.  Practically, it slaps him in the face every morning around three am when he’s wide awake and literally has no clue what else to do with a crying infant.  Five days on and Eggsy wonders how the human race ever survived and why on Earth people ever have more than one child.  If he’s not sleeping or eating, he’s upset about something.

One night, around four am (he’s forgotten how long he’s been on emergency personal leave at this point) with Daniel wailing in his arms and J.B. sitting just outside the little guestroom looking betrayed, Eggsy feels closer to giving up than ever.

“Oh, come on, Daniel.”  Every ounce of control he has left (which isn’t much) gets poured into making sure he doesn’t sound as at his wits end as he feels “I know I’m not your mum and this place is weird and strange and I’m probably the ugliest bloke you’ve ever seen.  But don’t you want to sleep?  Get a little rest, huh?  So you’ll be awake and we can go for a walk in the day light?  Loads of interestin’ things to see out there when the sun is shining.”  Finally, as Eggsy continues talking, Daniel’s cries start to die down.  So with a relieved sigh, he keeps going.  “Yeah, night time is boring.  Nothing to do at night but sleep… at least ‘til your thirties.  Thirty sounds like a good age to put that at.  And oh, you’re gonna be beatin’ em back with a stick you are.  Boys and girls both, what with your mum’s good looks an’ all.  And well, no small amount a help from me too.”  Daniel’s focused up at Eggsy who hasn’t taken his eyes off the little guy as he walks around the room, eventually laying back on the guest bed that sits against the opposite wall from the crib he’d had set up after the first day. He makes quiet squeaks of protest like he’s still thinking about crying until Eggsy adjusts him so that Daniel is laying on Eggsy’s chest, head over his heart.  And Eggsy, for lack of anything else to actually say, starts to sing.

Eggsy is strung out and beyond exhausted, but as soon as Daniel’s protests are replaced with soft coos and gentle babbling around his own pudgy hand stuffed in his mouth he feels like he could conquer the world.  He doesn’t stop singing - sometimes humming instead when he’s between songs he can remember - for a long time.  And Daniel never lifts his head up, happily relaxed above Eggsy’s heart.

It’s the first time he’s settled down with Eggsy without crying himself to sleep and it makes Eggsy so happy, so thrilled, he feels like he could cry.

 

 

Things don’t get easier.  They certainly don’t get worse, but easy is entirely the wrong word.  Quieter, maybe.

But apparently easy isn’t in Daniel’s vocabulary.

In just seven days Eggsy learns what Daniel looks like when he’s about to spit up, but not what to do to keep it from happening.  He learns the face he makes when Eggsy is about to have to change a dirty nappy, the way he looks when he’s about to finally fall asleep.  He learns the difference between a hungry cry and a wet one, and the distinct sound of a cry that for all Eggsy has figured out yet, is for no other reason that just to cry.  He’s got nothing on how to stop those either.

More importantly, however, is everything else he’s learned.  Like the sound of his laugh and how easy it is to get him to smile when he’s not busy crying.  Or that he’s fiercely independent and Eggsy helping with anything he’s already learned how to do on his own gets him quite frustrated.  He’s also figured out that Daniel really REALLY likes music, which makes Eggsy infinitely happy.  Daisy had always hated when there was anything on louder than a quiet lullaby.

Those little things keep him going, keep the scales tilted just this side of keeping it together while he slowly adjusts.  While they both adjust.  There’s still a ton of shit he has to figure out – including work – but for the moment all he is worried about is Daniel, so he does his best not to worry about anything else.  And he drowns out the voices of doubt and uncertainty in the back of his mind with some George Ezra on the speakers.

Late Friday afternoon, while both he and Daniel are in one of their better moods, he’s dancing about the house with Daniel in his arms when there’s a light rapping on his front door.

“Oi!  Who’s tha’ Daniel?  You hear it?”  The knocking happens once more as they make their way towards the foyer.  “I hope it’s what I ordered the other day, don’t you?  Sure you do, you know better than me the nappies your mum left are already too – “  Eggsy pulls open the door hallway through his last sentence and freezes in place the second he realizes that it is not, in fact, the delivery he’s been waiting on.

He knows he looks like a deer in the headlights, frozen solid with Daniel still wiggling at his side.

But to be fair, that’s kind of what Harry looks like at the moment as well.

Harry’s shock breaks first and he blinks himself out of it, eyes darting between Eggsy and Daniel – who for the moment is more concerned with trying to eat Eggsy’s sleeve than the stranger at the door.  “Taking up child care for some extra spending monies?”  He eventually asks, clearly not believing that for a second.

Still not moving out of the door Eggsy shakes his head.  “Not exactly.”  Everything Eggsy has ever learned about manners vanishes from one breath to the next.  “What you doin’ here?”

Apparently, Harry is still too surprised to point it out as he usually would.  “Standard procedure is to check in with agents requesting more than one week off so, so… out of the blue.  Especially so much without going into - without explaining.  Since you’re my friend I offered to come by personally.”  He slips his right hand into his pocket but Eggsy notes it’s starting to shake more than usual.

Eggsy gapes at him for a moment.  He’s used to flashes of emotions from Harry, glimpses here and there, a burst of laughter, a crack in his carefully controlled demeanor when he’s angry.  At the very least, what he shows is usually subtle.  But he is currently staring at a man who isn’t bothering to hide his surprise or confusion.  “Well, I’m fine and in one piece.  Not selling any agency secrets unless Daniel here is a sleeper agent and I just misread all the signs.”

For a heartbeat, they’re both silent.

And then Harry laughs.

The sound is small and cautious, but still jolts Eggsy into breathing again.  It also helps him suddenly remember his manners.

“Oh.. F- Sh- just.  Come in, Harry.”  Eggsy steps back out of the way and Harry thanks him as he steps over the threshold and then follows him into the sitting room.  Daniel gets set down in a small clutch of pillows on the floor and handed a bottle so Eggsy can focus on Harry, on answering the deluge of questions he knows is coming.  The tension between them is unprecedented and Eggsy’s not fond of the silence.  But Eggsy has gotten over the shock of Daniel’s existence and knows it’s not polite to push.

“He’s yours, isn’t he?”  Harry speaks with an unusual softness in his voice, staring at Daniel who is eagerly downing his formula.

Eggsy nods.  “Yeah.  Daniel.  He’s uh – he’s my son.”  Which still makes his chest all kinds of tight every time he says it out loud.  “Apparently.”  He adds as an afterthought and rubs his chest.

Harry does look at him then, features unreadable again which is almost a relief.  Eggsy may live for his smiles and the way the man laughs, but this is at least comfortably familiar.  “I was…”  he pauses and shakes his head, but it’s a longer pause than usual and that coupled with the tremor he’s still hiding by keeping his hand in his pocket has Eggsy worried.  “I didn’t know you had any children.”  He says eventually, as pleasantly as possible. At first Eggsy thinks Harry seems upset about that because Harry usually knows everything about everyone.  But they’ve been friends long enough that Eggsy knows by now that there’s far more to it than that.  Though he’s not certain exactly what.

“Yeah, well.  Join the club.”  His tone is more than just a little bitter and for the first time he doesn’t feel guilty about it at all.  Probably because he finally has a mostly neutral party to direct it at.

And just like that, Harry seems to relax.  The tension drains from his shoulders and he lets out a tiny sigh of relief.  Which is strange but Eggsy does his best not to think too much of it for the moment.

“Well that would explain the leave of absence.”

“Got it in one.”  Eggsy smirks but then rubs his face.  “Had to have time to figure out what the hell I’m doing.  And to let the little guy get used to the place enough to call it home before I put him in daycare.”

Harry raises a single eyebrow, no doubt taking in Eggsy’s sad physical state.  He’s got on a pair of trackies he’s had on for at least two days, his henly has milk stains on it and he’s got no idea what the current status of his hair may be.  “And have you figured that out yet?”  There’s a hint of amusement in Harry’s voice but it’s playful, so Eggsy’s usual defensive nature is nowhere to be seen.

But he does give Harry a flat look of disbelief.  “I aint dignifyin’ that with a answer.”

“Fair enough.”  He nods with a slight upwards tick to the edges of his lips.

What Harry does next, out of all the things he has ever done to surprise Eggsy, takes the cake.  Without saying anything else he slips out of his shoes, leaving them just behind the couch before slowly making his way to the center of the room and sitting down cross legged right in front of Daniel.  He never goes too fast and as soon as he catches the infant’s attention he moves even slower.  Once he’s on the ground he simply sits there for a moment, smiling softly until Daniel seems to lose interest and starts shaking his bottle in his hands and gnawing at the nipple without actually drinking.  For a second it looks like the movement is going to topple him over but he catches himself.

“Good evening, Daniel”  Harry smiles at him and Eggsy swears his son’s face matches his own, mouth hanging open and eyes wide in surprise.  “Since your father is absolutely – is bad at introductions, it appears we shall have to handle this ourselves.”  He holds out his left hand, palm up and open, and Daniel eyes him suspiciously for a moment.  “Harry Hart.”

While Eggsy holds his breath, Daniel slowly reaches for Harry’s index finger, pulls it to his mouth, and proceeds to gnaw on him.

“Oh my god.”  Eggsy only has a split second to be mortified before the sound of Harry’s laughter has him doing an emotional about face and he shuts his mouth, watching the two on the floor with rapt attention and a flutter in his stomach.

“Pleasure is all mine, I assure you.”  Around Harry’s knuckle, Daniel grins and makes an excited noise to which Harry responds with an even brighter smile.  “My, there are a lot of teeth coming in there.  No wonder your father looks like he hasn’t slept in days.”

“Oi!”  Eggsy says even through his own amusement and the excited feeling in his heart.  “Is tha’ really necessary?”

“Is it wrong?”  Harry asks without taking his smiling eyes off Daniel.

He thinks about that, about how Daniel never sleeps for more than a few hours at a time, how even when he does Eggsy’s almost too nervous to do it himself.  He understands that it is normal to be obsessively checking that he is still breathing but that doesn’t help him NOT actually obsess over it.  His mum comes over when she can, but working and going back to school so she can eventually support herself and Daisy on her own leaves Michelle with precious little free time.  So yeah, maybe he hasn’t showered in two days and the longest stretch of sleep he has managed was three hours who knows how long ago, but he’s managing, damn it.  Eventually, he just crosses his arms and frowns.

Harry apparently takes his non answer as agreeing with him which – ok, is not wrong – and smiles over at Eggsy.  “You should take a break.  Take a shower.  I’m sure I can keep the young man entertained for a short while.”

“I…”  Eggsy watches as Harry turns back to Daniel and swipes a single finger behind his ear, getting a bright giggle from the baby.  Surprise is an understatement.  Eggsy’s not entirely certain there is a strong enough word to describe what he’s feeling.  “I can’t ask you to do that.”  He eventually manages, voice a bit breathless.

“Convenient that you didn’t ask, then.”

Eggsy is stalling because he really doesn’t want to make Harry do this, even if he’s right and Eggsy hadn’t asked.  “You don’t have a million questions about all this?”

Harry’s smile falters.  “And then some, I assure you.”  He doesn’t look up from Daniel.  “But you don’t appear to be in – in a mood to answer any of them.”

Understatement.  Eggsy really is tired, because he doesn’t have any arguments left.  And he can’t stay staring at Harry and Daniel playing much longer or he’ll probably collapse from a sugar overdose.  “I guess I’ll uh, I’ll be back in a minute.”  Neither of them pay Eggsy any attention and he slowly – and with more reluctance than he will ever admit – backs up out of the room.

He takes quite a bit longer in the shower than he intends to, almost falling asleep under the heavy spray of the nearly scalding hot water.  It feels amazing, not just the heat and finally feeling clean, but for the first time in a week he’s not straining to hear the sounds of crying or going as fast as he can so he won’t miss Daniel waking up.

Once Eggsy is done in the shower he takes his time drying off, running a comb through his hair for the first time in days.  In his room J.B. is curled up in the center of the bed, but perks up the instant Eggsy comes back through the ensuite door.

“Hey, big boy.”  Eggsy flops down on the bed and starts scratching the pug behind his ears while J.B.’s whole body moves with the attempt to wag his tail in excitement.  “You know you wouldn’t miss me so much if you’d come in the room with us sometimes.  Daniel’s not that scary.”  J.B. gives him a blank stare, blinking.  “Alright.  He’s a little scary.  But he’s barely even crawling yet it ain’t as if you couldn’t get away.”  When the pug whines and tries to snuggle in against Eggsy’s chest Eggsy laughs and forces himself to get up so he can get dressed.

He pulls on a clean pair of dark, low slung jeans and a simple white t then makes his way back to the ground floor feeling much more refreshed than he thought he would.

Before he makes it halfway down the stairs Eggsy hears noises coming from the kitchen instead of the sitting room.

There he finds Daniel sitting in the small chair topped high chair designed to help hold him upright, shoving little teething toys around the tray and Harry, jacket off and sleeves rolled up, standing in front of the stove.

“What are you doin’?”

Harry looks over his shoulder and smirks.  “If you can’t tell – maybe we should have your head checked as well.  I know an excellent doctor.  Highly recommended.”

He makes his way to Harry’s side to peek at what he’s making, which turns out to be a heavenly smelling lemon chicken and asparagus thing.

“Just something simple.”  Harry offers.

Eggsy’s stomach growls.

“You really shouldn’t, Harry.”

“Nonsense.  I can see by your rubbish bin you’ve been eating out of – of…”  He pauses and clears his throat while Eggsy waits patiently.  “You’ve been ordering out all week.  So I’m making something quick so we can talk about ‘all of this’ and then I will get out of your hair.”

Even though Eggsy really wants to tell him to shove off - he doesn’t need to be taken care of – the chicken smells really – _really –_ good.

His stomach growls again.

“Unbelievable.”

Harry ‘hms’ and raises an eyebrow at Eggsy who snatches a piece of asparagus and takes a bite.  It’s not quite done all the way though, still a bit too crunchy but it tastes phenomenal.  “Good looks and he cooks.”  Eggsy pats Harry on the shoulder before going back to Daniel.  “It’s a wonder you’re still single.”  When Harry mumbles something Eggsy can’t hear he intends to ask him to repeat it, and point out mumbling is bad manners, but is distracted by Daniel banging on his tray.

They don’t actually talk about anything important over dinner, rather slip into the comfortable banter and conversation they are so familiar with instead.  Eggsy is so grateful to have something resembling normal that he frowns when Harry gathers their empty plates to set in the sink.  He doesn’t want dinner to be over yet.  Of course, Daniel has other things to say on the matter as well, so Eggsy winds up taking him upstairs to be changed before he can make his own protest.

Daniel is surprisingly cooperative for once and Eggsy praises him left and right, a huge, genuine smile on his face thanking him for being such a good baby.  Daniel smiles right back.  It makes him feel incredibly warm, heart light, and Eggsy realizes that THIS is why people continue to have children.  At least, it’s probably one of the driving factors.

In absolutely no time at all he’s back downstairs, setting Daniel down on his stomach with a few of his toys scattered about, just out of reach. He’s spent the last two days pushing up to his hands and knees and Eggsy is trying to encourage him to crawl.  (The internet says it’s early still, but he’s hopeful anyway.)

He and Harry settle into his couch with cups of tea Harry had made and are silent for a little while, the easy conversation from earlier completely gone.  Harry sits as he always does in the corner with his legs crossed out in front of him.  But Eggsy curls up in the other end, back to the arm of the couch and one foot tucked under himself.  It’s his house, fuck etiquette.  It’s not like he’s treated Harry like a proper guest in ages anyway.

“I think,” Harry starts, setting his tea on the end table and not looking away from where Daniel’s rocking back and forth on the floor.  “The most obvious – thing to start with is, are you sure?”

Eggsy sighs with a smile.  That’s probably the easiest question of them all and the one he’d honestly expected sooner.  “That was the first thing I checked.  Madeline at the MI6 forensic lab owed me a favor.  So about five minutes after his mum left I rang her.”

“And?”

“And now she don’t owe me a favor.”  Eggsy shrugs.  “Those are in fact, my eyes he’s got.”

“Why didn’t you just use the Kingsman lab?”  Harry shifts and looks over at Eggsy then.  “You wouldn’t have had to call in any debts.”

Eggsy bites his lip, smile gone.  “I ain’t exactly… _told_ anyone at Kingsman yet.  And even if I had sent a fresh cheek swab from me and marked it ‘agent eyes only’ I know how that system works.  Would’a pinged my profile instantly and Arthur and Merlin would have known righ’ away.”

“Had you planned on keeping him a secret – always?”

“No. ‘Course not, I just-” Eggsy rubs his face, the small tug of uncertainty he’s been feeling all week settling back in his stomach.  “I got absolutely no clue what I’m doing here and tryin’ to take it one day at a time.  I’d like to figure out a few things before having to explain myself to every other person I come across.”

For a moment Harry studies him, but then he nods.  “I understand.  However, not even Lancelot?”

 _Fuck no, not Roxy._ Eggsy thinks.  For a million reasons, all of them on par with why he hadn’t called Harry out to tell him either.  Except for one that is fairly exclusive to Roxy when it comes to any of his friends.  As far as he’s aware anyway.  “Roxy is, well she’s not exactly the nurturin’ type.”

“No one said you had to ask her for help.”  Harry looks at him skeptically.

“No, I know.  But, the not nurturin’ is a vast understatement.  Roxy hates kids.  She’d never kick one out in the cold mind, but given the choice she’d rather never have anything to do with them.”

“That is surprising.  What led you to – “

Eggsy cuts him off.  “Last bloke she dated? Completely mad for him.  Thought the sun shown out his arse.  He mentioned six months in on a date one night – off hand – how much he looked forward to havin’ kids someday.  Not even with her, just in general.  Half hour later she was single.”

“Seems rather drastic.”

“You’ve no idea, mate.”

Realization seems to dawn on Harry’s face and he gives Eggsy a small, knowing smile which makes Eggsy frown.  He knows he’s been read like a book before Harry even opens his mouth.  “Worried she’ll dump you, too?”

Eggsy drops his gaze back to Daniel with a frown.  Yes, technically, that’s exactly it even if he does understand it’s not the same thing.  But again, Harry seems to understand him without Eggsy having to say anything.

“Give her a chance.  And sooner, rather than later.”

“Yeah…”

They both fall silent once more, Harry slowly sipping at his tea again while Eggsy’s goes cold and forgotten in his hand.

Daniel’s arms give out on him and his face falls into the soft carpet.  It surprises Eggsy, to say the least, to see Harry react to it and start to move.  But Eggsy holds his arm out.  “Don’t grab him while he’s doin’ that.  He’ll get very cross with you.”  When Harry gives him a questioning glance, Eggsy silently nods back to Daniel who is already picking himself back up.  The second his upper body is supported by his arms again his face breaks out into a wide and toothless smile, a sound of pure joy coming from him.  Eggsy immediately starts to applaud, encouraging him and telling Daniel how wonderful he is.

“You seem to be doing alright.”  Harry’s voice is dripping with fondness and when Eggsy looks back at him the smile he has makes him immediately turn away with a blush.

“Come ‘ere you.”  Eggsy says to Daniel instead, reaching down to pull the baby into his arms and cover him in quick, congratulatory kisses.  Daniel’s giggles are infectious and by the time he finally responds to Harry, Eggsy’s heart feels as light as a feather.  “Not all of this is new.  Just… most of it.”

Though Harry stays silent as Eggsy snatches a toy for Daniel to fiddle with while he holds him in his lap, Eggsy is entirely aware of the way the man is watching them, well, him.  “So that was, what?  One question so far?”  He says without looking up from Daniel.  “You got loads more I know.”

In the background of his focus, Eggsy sees Harry nod.  “A rather large one, actually.”  He pauses then shifts in his seat, seeming to settle in a little further.  “Why?”

He’d been expecting that one too.  So Eggsy tells him about Amrita, about how they grew up together, how they met again over a year ago and how Eggsy had been in a desperate need to let off steam and she had been the safest option.  He doesn’t mention that it had been because he’d needed to have some kind of emotional connection but wasn’t anywhere near ready – personally – for anything else that would usually mean.  He also doesn’t go into her personal home life because that part isn’t Harry’s business.  He does tell him about her mum passing, how promising her career is and that the opportunity she’d been given was literally a make or break kind of deal.  Eggsy had been skeptical about that at first too, but it didn’t take much digging to figure out it was true as well.

When he’s done speaking Daniel is quietly gnawing on his toy while Harry looks incredibly skeptical.  It bothers Eggsy, that Harry looks so uncertain.  “What you thinkin’, Harry?”

Harry shakes his head.  “I don’t understand how you can still sound – sound fond, when you speak of Daniel’s mother after what she’s done.”

Instantly Eggsy’s defenses start to snap up into place.  “ _Amri,_ is doing the best she can with what she has.”

“At the sacrifice of being a – a good mother?”

Eggsy’s jaw drops and he feels the anger start to properly well up, lumping in his throat.  “Excuse me?”

“She just left him with, and I’m sorry Eggsy I know you’re a good man, but with a man she didn’t know.”

“She didn’t have much choice.”

“There’s always a choice.”  Harry sighs.

“Pretty sure you an’ I have already talked ‘bout silver spoons, yeah?”

“Eggsy.”  Harry closes his eyes.  “This isn’t...”

And really, Eggsy knows he’s trying, he also knows he’s looking for a word but for once, probably the first time ever, actually, he doesn’t much care.  The anger and pain in his chest from having to point this out again, after everything, to know what it feels like to be in a no win situation and to cling to the only way out. “No.”  He says before Harry can get anything else out, a hard sound that even catches Daniel’s attention.  “It is.  It is exactly the same. You still have no f- no idea what it takes to claw yourself out of the life we grew up in.  And she ain’t got a Harry Hart to offer her a lifeline outta nowhere.  No one is waitin’ in the shadows who owes his life to some long dead family member.”  Eggsy is fully aware of the fact that without Harry he would not be where he is, that it was his own hard work that got him through Kingsman training but Harry who gave him the opportunity in the first place.  And it pisses him off when Harry seems to forget that.  “She’s got to do this entirely on her own.  So yeah, it was shit the way she went about things, but I’m willin’ to sacrifice a bit and do what I can.”  He looks down at Daniel at his bright green eyes and dark hair and swallows heavily.  “Especially since he’s my responsibility too.”

Daniel’s face is starting to get pinched into a frown and Eggsy doesn’t recognize the specific cry that’s coming but he sure as hell knows it’s on its way.  So he picks him up from his lap and to his chest then stands.  “Your mum’s gonna have no one to blame for quittin’ anything is she?  Because she won’t quit.  She’s betta than that.”  Before Eggsy finishes speaking Daniel is crying.  It is not his usual loud wail of terror but just a soft sound, like he’s upset that Eggsy’s upset.

With a jolt, Eggsy realizes that is probably exactly what has happened.

“Eggsy.”  When he looks back, Harry appears, for once in his life, like he truly regrets what he has said.  “I – I am sorry.  I didn’t...”  Harry closes his eyes and takes a deep breath but Eggsy keeps scowling at him.  Even though he has to work through his words now Harry still has a bad habit of talking without thinking and Eggsy refuses to let him off for it this time.  “I should have found a better way, different, to say that.”

Which means he’s not sorry for actually saying something.

And with that, Eggsy has had enough.  He kisses Daniel’s hair and starts bouncing him softly in his arms.

“Don’t forget you was the arse who called me out on usin’ family as an excuse for stayin’ where I was and now you’re sayin’ she should stay for family?  No.  You can’t have it both ways, Harry.”

Before Harry can answer, Eggsy adjusts Daniel against his chest and starts making his way to the stair.  “I have to put my son to bed. Make sure you lock the door on your way out.”  With that he pays no more attention to Harry, taking the steps with a burning in his chest and feeling incredibly nauseous.  He recognizes that he’s started off rather tired and cranky, but for the moment, he doesn’t give two shits that he _may_ have overreacted.

He’s got a crying baby to worry about.

 

 

 

Eggsy frets over that evening for a few days but in the end, doesn’t have much time to dwell.  He’s still angry with Harry - that Harry never seems to really try and see things from the other side.  Though he is better than a few of the other old snobs left in the organization for once, that’s not good enough.

Almost another week passes, every day almost an exact repeat of the previous one.  He and Daniel, at the very least, fall into a routine of sorts.  He’s still not sleeping much but he does get to sleep at the same _time_ every day.  Which is something, anyway.

A text comes in extremely early one morning when Eggsy’s on the verge of passing out.  The sound is just loud enough to startle him awake and he lets out a string of colorful curses when he rolls over and begins groping for the damn thing.  His time with Kingsman has taught him never to ignore a call or message, even if he IS on leave.  It could always be an important one.

                        - _Just got in.  Told you’re still on EPL?  You okay?  Can I help? – R_

Despite his initial mood Eggsy smiles, flopping back down into the bed with his phone in his hands to answer Roxy.

                        - _WB! I’m fine.  No help.  Call you in a few hours? :)_

He had just missed getting in touch with her a few days earlier, though at the time he had considered himself lucky since he wasn’t quite ready to tell her yet.  But at this point, he really fucking misses his best friend.  Her response is almost immediate – _you better_ – and Eggsy sets his mobile back on the charger with a smile.  He falls asleep much easier this time.

Much later that morning, while Daniel slowly works on his forward movement on the floor, Eggsy finally calls her.  And over the phone – because he’s a coward – tells her about everything.

An hour later she’s pounding on his door.

“Oh my god.”  When Eggsy opens the door it’s with Daniel at his side and to stare down at a completely astounded Roxy.

But Eggsy just laughs.  “What.  You didn’t believe me?  I’m hurt Rox.  _Wounded.”_   They head inside while they talk and Roxy goes straight for Eggsy’s liquor cabinet which hasn’t been opened in a long time.  (Honestly, he’s only got the thing stocked for guests, he hardly even drinks himself.)

“It wasn’t a matter of disbelief as much as I was hoping you were trying to pull some elaborate prank.  Or perhaps delusional.  Wouldn’t put that one past you.”  She smiles brightly at him before pouring herself less than a finger of scotch.  Roxy doesn’t take a drink though, opting instead to put it down and come closer to where Eggsy is still standing with his son.  “Oh my god.”  She says again, this time her voice much softer.  “Eggsy he’s so handsome.  He doesn’t just have your eyes he’s got your whole face.”  She leans in close to Daniel but doesn’t touch and Eggsy feels very, VERY weird.  Because this is the last thing he’d expected from her.  “Hello there, Daniel.  I’m your aunt Roxy.”  She smiles at him and Daniel coos.

Despite the strangeness of it all, Eggsy can’t help the warm feeling he gets from the way she so easily assumes the title of aunt.  “Do you…” he pauses because it’s probably a dumb question.  “Do you want to hold him?”  He asks, unsure.

Roxy springs back up and looks startled.  “What?  Hell no.” She flinches then adds, “Sorry Daniel.  Don’t talk like your aunt Roxy.”  With Eggsy laughing she picks up her glass but continues not to drink it.  “And let me just state for the record that if you ever call me to watch him I will laugh until I cry and promptly hang up on you.”  She does down her scotch at that point, setting the glass down with a heavy sound.

“Now, you two look like you need some sun.  Go for a walk?”  Roxy is talking a lot, a lot more than usual.  Eggsy’s been around her enough to recognize that she’s nervous about something.  It’s the only time she speaks any more than absolutely necessary.  Otherwise, she’s usually a woman of very few words.  So for the moment Eggsy goes along with her, at least until he feels like it won’t be life threatening to ask her about it.

They do go for a walk, looking rather like a small family with Daniel at Eggsy’s side.  Which amuses him to no end.  She continues her uncharacteristic babbling for several blocks and Eggsy, with a grin, silently listens, nodding every now and then and asking questions only when appropriate.  Roxy gives him a vague overview of where she’d been the last few days, something about making sure the new Defense Secretary survived her trip overseas.

“Relegated to body guard now, Rox?”

“Of course not.”  She says rather curtly.  “There was word of an attempt on Minister Tanner’s life funded by the opposing party.  Which was accurate.”  And also not surprising given the current state of affairs in their country.  Valentine (ok, Eggsy and Merlin) took out the most ruthless of those in power.  But there were plenty waiting in the wings to take up their mantles.

“Are you sure she couldn’t have taken them out herself?  I’ve seen that woman on the telly.  She looks terrifying.”

Roxy nods and hums agreement.  “Probably, though she’s a bit old.  Her personal bodyguard though…”  A smirk comes over Roxy that is devious as much as it is sly.  “She was tough as nails.  And we worked extremely well together.”

When Eggsy laughs and shifts Daniel to his other side, the baby giggles as well.  “Foxy Roxy strikes again.  Will you ever come back from a mission without stealing someone’s heart?”

“It was hardly her heart that I stole.”  She says flatly, though there’s a sparkle in her eyes.  But then, without even taking a breath, she says. “You need a running buggy.”

The abrupt and drastic change in conversation almost has Eggsy tripping over his own feet.  “A wha’?”

“It’s made for running, with proper sturdy tires and a strap to put around your wrist so if you fall flat on your face the baby doesn’t go flying into traffic.  You’ve been inside for what?  A month now?  You’ll get soft, Eggs.  You need to do _something._ ”

Eggsy scoffs.  It’s not like he’s planning on staying inside forever.  “I am going back to work next month, you know.”  He has been too tired to do literally do much of anything, but it’s not like he doesn’t have years of muscle tone built up.  Though he has been eating like shit lately.  Eggsy decides it’s best to change the subject.  “But more important, how do you know about those?”

“I have other friends with children, Eggsy.”

“Since when?”

“Since long before I met you.”

For another block they walk in silence, the only sound between them the occasional excited squeal from Daniel when something strikes his interest.  But Roxy’s silence finally gives Eggsy time to puzzle everything together in his mind.  Her babbling and her nerves at meeting Daniel don’t match up with the fact that she talks so casually about others with kids.

“Rox.”

“Hm?”

“You gonna tell me what’s got you so on edge?”  He gives her a knowing look, eyebrows raised and waiting patiently for her answer.

At first she looks back at him like she has absolutely no clue what he’s talking about.  But he holds her gaze and eventually she backs down.  “It’s not important.”

“Of course it is.”

“No, it really isn’t, Eggsy.”  She drops her head and stops walking so that Eggsy has to walk in a small circle to get back to her.  When he stops they both wind up leaning against a wall.  Her gaze flicks up to Daniel, then Eggsy, and back to her own feet.  “This isn’t about me.”

The worries he’d had about this meeting suddenly seem to be coming to fruition and his stomach churns while he tries to stay calm.  “Come on, Roxy.  You just said you’ve got other friends with kids.  Why’s this so strange?”  It’s still really fucking strange to him, but to keep her coming around he’ll say almost anything.

“To start with most of my friends either had them before I met them, or I had a good nine months to get used to the idea.  You gave me an hour.”

“Is ‘bout what I had.”

“I know.”  She says with a sigh. “Which is why I said what I’m feeling is not important.”  She’s still not looking up at him, but at least Eggsy feels a little better about it, now that he knows what’s bothering her.

“And I said it is important.  You’re one of the most important people in my damn life, Rox. I couldn’t stand it if you stop comin’ round just because of Daniel.”

“If I…  Eggsy.”  Before Eggsy knows what’s happening, Roxy has turned and pulled him, and by proxy Daniel, into a tight embrace.  Daniel giggles and Eggsy balks.  “Eggsy I’m not going to suddenly stop being here for you. Probably more now if you need me.  But I was just, I was just worried over the fact that we aren’t going to be us anymore.  You’re the only one I know my age who understands what we do and it’s nice, being able to just go out and be with someone who gets me.”

“Aww, Rox.  Are you upset because you just lost your wingman?”

She punches him lightly in the arm but smirks.  “You know it’s so much more than that.”

“Yeah, yeah.”  Eggsy throws his arm over her shoulder, adjusts Daniel at his side and starts leading them both back towards his house.  “I solemnly swear I will still find time to go out with you, get all the girls worked up and left hanging for you to take your pick.”

“One of these days I’m going to convince you to take one of them home with you.”  She teases him, poking Eggsy in his side as they walk forward.  “When was the last time you got lai –“ Roxy slaps her own hand over her mouth, eyes bright with mirth.  “You know.  That wasn’t on the job?”

Pinching Roxy on her arm, Eggsy looks over at his son and hums, pretending to think about it even though he knows exactly how long it’s been.

 “Daniel.  How old are you?”

 

 

 

 

Four weeks after his life changed forever (again) Daniel gets sick.

At first Eggsy just thinks he had a stomach ache or ate a little too fast when he couldn’t keep down a bottle.  He’d tried not to worry about the fact that Daniel had never quite spit up that much before, but a few hours later when he does it again Eggsy has to keep himself from panicking.  Daisy’d never gotten sick much when he’d still been living with them, so this is something else that is entirely, terrifyingly, new.  The first thing he does is call his mum, who tells him to stop panicking, keep him comfortable, and wait a little while before trying again.

But as the day goes on Daniel gets quieter, lethargic, but no less cranky, and his temperature starts to spike.  The third time he spits everything up is the last straw and Eggsy packs his bag to take him to a doctor.

That’s what the doctor tells him. And Eggsy feels like an idiot, though she does assure him that it’s completely normal to be concerned the first time that happens and that next time he’ll not only know what to do, but have the medication on hand to take care of him.

Eggsy feels infinitely better on the way home, but it takes all night for Daniel to get well.  When he’s awake he’s either crying or fussing the entire time.  And when he sleeps Eggsy is too strung out on worrying about his temperature to rest at all.

By the time his fever breaks and Daniel manages to keep down more than one ounce of formula at a time it’s almost mid-morning.  Eggsy hasn’t slept in at least thirty hours and Daniel is wide awake.  Between the lack of sleep and the stress, Eggsy is beyond exhausted, to the point he feels like a zombie shuffling around his house.  With Daniel in his play pen so he can’t suddenly figure out how to properly crawl and somehow escape, Eggsy very slowly makes his way to his kitchen to make some coffee.  Double checking to make sure he actually puts the grounds in this time – he’s lost count of how many times he’s forgotten recently – Eggsy hits the start button just as someone knocks on his front door.

When he finally makes it there and pulls the door open, he doesn’t even have any energy left with which to react.  Harry is standing on his steps, pristine in his suit and fucking perfect as always while Eggsy is fully aware he probably looks at least three times worse than the last time the man had been here.  He’s also vaguely aware that he had been mad at him…. for… something.

Eggsy thinks the look on Harry’s face says quite clearly _you look like shit._   But his mouth apparently isn’t on the same page.  “May I come in?”  He asks after Eggsy stands there in silence for what is likely far too long.  He doesn’t respond, just steps out of the way so Harry can come through.  Once the door is closed, Eggsy finds himself leaning back against it.

“Eggsy.”

“hm?”  He’s got his eyes closed and takes a deep breath before forcing them back open and pushing away from the door.

“When was the last time you slept?”  Harry says with nothing but concern.

Eggsy shrugs and heads back to the kitchen.  He knows exactly when that was, he just doesn’t want to admit it out loud.  “Daniel was sick last night.”  He offers instead of a real answer.  When he gets to his coffee maker Eggsy frowns.  There’s no coffee in it.  He’d checked the grounds but, no water.  “Fuck.”

“How is he feeling now?”

“Great!” And maybe he’s a little sharp on the sarcasm, but he’s tired.  “He feels absolutely fine as far as I can tell.”  Eggsy leans back against the counter, rubs his face with both hands and groans.  “He’s going to be up for hours.”  When he drops his hands heavily at his side he catches the worry in Harry’s eyes, the way his brows are knit close together.  He wants to ask him why he’s here.  There has to be a reason he just showed up.  But when Eggsy opens his mouth to say something all that comes out is a massive yawn.

“You need to get some sleep.”  Harry is standing unusually far away and Eggsy is honestly surprised he even notices that.  He’s also got his hand in his pocket again which means he’s hiding his tremor.  Eggsy tries really very hard to draw conclusions from all of that information but his brain simply isn’t keeping up.

“Yeah?  And how d’you expect me to do that?”

“You could go now.  I can keep…  I can watch him for a while.”  Harry offers like he’s offering to hold onto something for him rather than baby-sit an actual child.

Eggsy’s knee jerk reaction is to say no, but thankfully he’s too tired to react very quickly and the rest of his brain has time to catch up.  It’s not the worst idea he’s ever heard, and he already knows Daniel likes Harry.  “Don’t you have to work?”

“Off today.”

Another yawn rolls through Eggsy’s body and that’s all it takes.  He’s in.  “Are you absolutely sure?”

“Of course.”

God he could kiss that man.  His body is already feeling excited about the prospect of sleep, one last surge of energy so he can make it up the stairs and to the bed calling his name.  “Just, two or three hours.  A good nap will be great.”  Eggsy makes his way across the kitchen and pats Harry on the shoulder.  “And then we can talk about whatever you came over here for.”

Harry’s small smile is, well, it’s almost timid.  “Can’t I just come over for the sake of it?”

“Not until you buy me dinner first.”  Eggsy winks wearily, almost using both eyes by accident before dropping his hand from Harry’s shoulder and leaving the kitchen heading straight for the stairs.

Still in all of his clothes, Eggsy falls face first into his pillows, only vaguely aware of JB coming to curl up at his side just as he gets pulled under.

It’s the blissful, dreamless sort of sleep that feels like it will never end.  When he starts to wake, feels the heaviness of sleep slowly draining away, he stretches out on his bed with a relaxed moan, eyes still closed.  Eggsy feels like he’s brand new, like he’s actually gotten a full night’s sleep.

He bolts up in bed as soon as that thought crosses his mind and curses when he realizes it’s dark outside.  The clock on his nightstand tells him it’s almost ten pm which means he slept for nearly twelve hours.

Suddenly very awake, Eggsy rolls out of bed and changes into a clean shirt before going to find and apologize to Harry.  At the top of the landing though he realizes that all of the lights in the house are off save the soft glow of the bedside lamp coming from Daniel’s room.

When he gets there Eggsy stops on the threshold, astonished.  He rubs his eyes to make sure he’s not just seeing things.  But when he looks again Eggsy has to rub at his suddenly tight chest, taking a deep breath.  Laying in the bed, in his socks, trousers, and simple white undershirt, is Harry.  He’s got Daniel curled up fast asleep on his chest, one hand on the baby’s back while the other loosely holds one of the books Amrita had left with them.  Harry seems to be asleep as well, and Eggsy has to cover his mouth to keep from making a noise and waking either of them.

Because Eggsy’s got no fucking clue what to do with this.  Commit it to memory, yes.  But beyond that?  The warmth in his heart and the smile he can’t stamp down are concerning and he tries not to worry about it, to pay the feelings welling up no mind.  So instead he very carefully goes to pull Daniel away, silently laughing to himself at the way Harry grips Daniel a little tighter when Eggsy attempts to push his hand off.  The movement gets his attention though and Harry’s eyes flutter open.  As Harry blinks and focuses on what’s going on, Eggsy tries to hide his grin but it’s pointless.  Harry smiles, a small, sleepy grin of his own and releases Daniel so Eggsy can scoop him up and put him in his own bed.  He makes a small squeak of protest in Eggsy’s arms but then smacks his lips a few times and falls silent gain. Once Eggsy has him down again he stays, thankfully, fast asleep.

Without either man saying anything, Harry follows Eggsy out of the room and down the stairs towards the kitchen where Eggsy flicks on the lights and – correctly thank you – sets a pot of coffee to brew.  Harry still maintains his distance, standing back against the far wall though Eggsy is kind of glad for that.  He’s seen the man in less clothing while he was recovering but he’d been a bit frail at the time.  Harry seems to have been working out a lot more lately and in the thin white T it’s a bit distracting.

“I am so sorry, Harry.  I shouldn’t have slept so long.  I’m sure you had more important things to do today.”  He’s not looking at Harry yet, opting for getting down his favorite mug and some cream and sugar to occupy his hands.

“Did it help?”

Eggsy takes note of the lightness in his chest, the way his limbs no longer feel like lead and the clarity of his thoughts.  “More than I can say.”

“Then think nothing of it, please.”  Harry assures him.  Eggsy can hear the smile in his voice and turns around to see it.  Sure enough, that small, fond grin is right where he’d expected it to be.

“What are you doing, Harry?”  Eggsy should thank him, he knows that.

“Whatever I can to… to help.”

“I don’t know how to repay you for this.”  Eggsy admits with a frown.

Harry’s smile falls, replaced with a look of confusion.  “You think…  When I was in – when I was getting better, and you were at my side every day you could possibly be there, did you expect anything in return?”

“’Course not.”  Eggsy drops his gaze, staring at his own bare toes as he wiggles them.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to be there.  I wanted to help.”  He insists.

“Well.  I want to be here.  You need help whether you – you say you do or not.  And I hate to see you struggle when you don’t have to.”

Eggsy doesn’t have a response for that and the sound of the last sputtering of his coffee maker is the only thing in the air between them for a long moment.  He’s more than appreciative, of that he’s certain.  He just, doesn’t know WHY Harry is so insistent.  In the silence that stretches between them Eggsy makes two mugs of coffee, one with equal parts cream and sugar for himself, the other sickly sweet but otherwise pitch black.  Handing Harry his coffee that he hadn’t even asked for seems as good a time as ever to look at him again.  He’s not sure if it’s the coffee or Eggsy’s attention that does it but Harry smiles.  Their fingers brush when he hands off the mug, and he’s suddenly warmer when he pulls his own hand back.

“I did come over today with a specific purpose, though.”  Harry admits before taking a tentative sip of his coffee.  This morning Eggsy may have grumbled about that but after sleeping the day away and finally feeling like a right and proper human being again, he’s in a much better mood.

“Knew it.  So what was this nefarious ulterior motive?”

With a playful smirk Harry nods out of the kitchen and walks off, silent.  Eggsy follows him through his house, sipping at his mug while padding barefoot after Harry towards his own office.  The place had come mostly furnished, including fairly classically decorated study.  Eggsy had liked it at first but grew weary of the stuffy nature after only a few months.  Now the room is a cool, steely blue grey with stark white accent lines and glass topped furniture.  Two years on and he still loves it.

The chair is a bit old fashioned, but it’s the most comfortable thing he’s ever sat in and it’s not like he’s trying to show off to anyone.

When Harry flips the switch and light floods the room, Eggsy is taken back by the boxes covering his usually clear desk.  Three are standard white bank boxes, no writing to indicate what may be in them.  There’s a fourth, much smaller one, much older and rather beat up, held together with tape and twine.

There’s faded writing on its lid.

“Stheno.”  Eggsy says quietly, tracing the grayed out lettering.  “What is… what is this, Harry?”

Harry comes to stand at his side, shoulders and bare arms brushing as he opens one of the other boxes.  “This is everything Kingsman has… has gathered on the organization over the decades, including some things that we believe are linked but haven’t proved to be… correct yet.  Your coded letters are in here somewhere as well.”

Agents slip out a file here and there all the time, to take home to work on in their own time.  But technically it’s against the rules.  Really very much against the rules.  There are all sorts of things that could go wrong, especially with _this much_ intel all in one place.  Then there’s the fourth box as well, which he points to wordlessly and looks at Harry with a single brow raised.

“Those are my personal files.  Mostly notes, more outlandish theories that I’ve never been able to… to prove or not, not prove, none of them aren’t proven but…”  He takes a deep, steadying breath and Eggsy can see the frustration flicker through his eyes but it’s gone just as fast.

“Yeah, got it.”  Eggsy blinks and shakes his head.  “Harry, Arthur is going to have your balls for this.”

When he shrugs like he’d actually thought about that and promptly dismissed it, Eggsy balks.  “It’s my department.  She doesn’t even need to know.  Besides, you need to work on this.”  Harry insists.  “You need something to remind you that one change in your life, even a… a large one like this, doesn’t change who you are.  Doesn’t mean everything else just goes away.”

And Eggsy wants to laugh, but the urge to cry kind of mixes with it and he makes a strange huff of a noise.  That’s almost exactly what he had told Harry when he was recovering, in the first weeks before it all started falling into place when he would get so frustrated it was hard for him to come up with _any_ words and tried to resign himself to a life of silence.  Or when he’d realized that even if he could control the worst of it, the tremor in his hand would mean that Harry would never shoot a gun again - even if he did get any of his dexterity back. But Eggsy did everything he could to keep Harry’s chin up, helped convince the new Arthur that he was still invaluable to Kingsman.  They’d created the role of Fisher for him, the protector of what Kingsman held most important. 

Namely, their intelligence files and all of the knowledge the organization has collected throughout the decades.  He is so much more than a record keeper, though that is his official title.  

“Sounds familiar.”

Harry grabs onto Eggsy’s shoulder and gives him a light squeeze.  “It was good advice.”

An unexpected sense of comforting warmth surrounds Eggsy and he has to look away, bring a hand up to his face and slowly wipes it down his mouth.  He’d been feeling so out of it the last few weeks, like that since being Daniel’s dad was all he was ever worried about, that was all he could do.  All the reading he’d done was about babies.  Which was still fucking weird.  He hadn’t stepped foot in a gym or put on a proper pair of trainers to do anything more strenuous than lifting an 8 kilo baby.  And he hadn’t been running in over a month.  Though he realizes his legs aren’t already turning to jelly, it sure as hell feels like it.

And this?  This is Harry getting that.  This is Harry understanding, without ever asking, without _Eggsy_ even realizing, what was going on and what Eggsy was going through. 

Even after Eggsy had literally kicked him out of his house.

“I don’t understand.”  He says eventually, still not looking up and blinking quite rapidly.

Harry sighs.  “Consider it an apology.”

“For?”

When Harry drops his hand and starts idly pilfering through the files in the nearest box, Eggsy feels strangely cold.  “I can’t apologize for my thoughts on Daniel’s – on Amrita.  I am not a forgiving man, Eggsy.   Even less so for people I feel have – have done wrong to those I care about.”  Which is nothing Eggsy didn’t know already, really.  “But I can say I’m sorry for not seeing this from your view, for not trying before I opened my mouth.  It was... unseemly of me.”

“You didn’t say anythin’ wrong Harry.  Not really.  Nothin’ I hadn’t thought myself if I’m honest.  I just, I was tired and that’s a shit excuse but I over reacted, yeah?”  He looks up wearily, searching for Harry’s gaze and giving him a lopsided grin when Harry does look back at him.

“It’s one of the reasons I knew something was wrong.  It usually takes you at least ten minutes of that kind of talk to piss you off.”  Harry admits.

There’s silence for a moment before both men break into a laugh, cutting through the tension between the two.

“Harry?”

“Yes?”

He wants to tell him how much he appreciates him, how he can’t believe this man puts up with him.  Eggsy can think of a million and one words he wants to say to Harry in a desperate attempt to convey even a miniscule amount of his gratitude.   So he takes a deep breath, and smiles.

But then Harry smiles right back, and Eggsy is overwhelmed with the brightness of it, with his presence, with the fact that underlying Harry’s usual scent is the distinct hint of Daniel.  Eggsy kind of forgets how to breathe.

“Thanks.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwahaha. I said Sunday, but [stainedglasscurtains](stainedglasscurtains.tumblr.com) is amazing and super fast so it was ready before I planned on leaving today!

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out on [tumblr](http://toriceratops.tumblr.com)!


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